Friday, October 28, 2005

The News: By AOL/Time Warner

Hi, my name is Rachael, and I am a user of AOL. There, I said it. Now, there are several good (as I see it) reasons for this pesky habit. First, my parents are still paying for the account - therefore my email is just as free as Yahoo, and I've been able to keep the same screenname for somewhere around 9 years now. Second, AOL is great for getting accurate and unbiased up-to-the-minute news headlines. This second piece should be read with a slight hint of sarcasm and should be followed with an exaggerated wink. Just thought I'd share yesterday's headline, pertaining to the honorable President George W. Bush's falling, dwindling, downward-spiraling poll numbers. Furthermore, I am ecstatic about posting other people's blogs on my own blog....jumping headlong into this technologically savvy world!
So, in a beautifully blue-bordered square in the middle of a page of news about Bush, AOL had various questions which asked the users to answer with simple "check yes or no boxes." (Did you vote for Bush in the last election? Would you vote for him if there was another election today? Do you think he'd win?) Ahhhh, I revel at the stunning display of grade-level 4 poll questions that the geniuses at AOL pose! So, icing on the cake was that in the next square down, they put a traditional picture of Bush, lips pursed, clearly thinking about what his stripper name would be if he took the name of a street he lived on and paired it with the name of his first pet (Millie Pennsylvania??), and next to the picture, they put up cyberspace blogger's opinions on whether they'd vote for Bush again if there were another election. (Great question, considering the eminent possibility that we'll have another election with Bush in the running...hmmm... wait a minute!) Anyway, figured I'd post the two best and most educated replies, in my humble opinion, that AOL saw fit to print:

1. "I voted for him twice and would again. Considering the alternatives, it's a no-brainer. The economy is roaring, jobs are plentiful." -jsbdford on the Daily Pulse Blog (Is that you, Cheney?)

2. "I'd vote for...Bush in a minute...He is the most decent, conscientious, brave, caring man to have held office in a long time." -dectile on the Daily Pulse Blog (Do we really want to know what the ellipses are replacing??)

Going to go check my old, reliable email and headline news mega-source, AOL - can't get enough!


captain court said...

I have ironically been wanting to broach the question of "why the hell does Rach still use AOL" for some time now, so thanks for offering those explinations. Personally, the word "America" in anything is the same as "Family" for me ... I generally stay clear. That said, I love the AOL survey ... and I'd like to know what economy that guy is talking about. Either he's young and is just regergitating what he hears from his parents. Or he owns a Curves. Those seem to be on the rise lately.

Anonymous said...

I agree. Well, at least Steve Case had sense enough to leave before things at America Online got too bad...