As I look out over the now-calm Pacific, about to ring in my 33rd year, I am reminded of a conversation I had on this very ship with Missy Mott over a year ago. In sharing stories about feeling lost at times, and finding the balance between wanderlust and security, she expressed the query she had pondered over regarding her own daughter, Jill, my near doppelganger. “I wonder what her life would be like if she had never gone on this ship?”
I’d probably still be working in the entertainment industry. I’d perhaps own my own place, have a newish car. Nicer clothes and enough discretionary money to pay for my own cell phone. But as I re-enter this floating academical village, I cannot help but to immediately feel reminded of the visions that were forever imprinted on my callow brain the day I traded a semester of USC film school for a mind-blowing peephole into the actual world where "reality" could never and probably will never end: more than half of the world lives on less than $2 a day, and even more than that do not have access to clean water. I know this here and I know this now, but what about that future moment when I temporarily forget that whether or not my hair should have high or low lights is really not important?
4 comments:
3:03am?
Happy Birthday!
Beautiful photograph!!! Love it... Miss you... Happy birthday! Mine was on the 27th... 33 for me too. When was yours?
I think people like us who have had a taste of what is out there and realize how narrow the expectations of the "typical" American life are will always feel this way. While I am thankful for my job and my medical insurance, my heart yearns to be challenged by interaction with people and places that are outside of my comfort zone. It truly depresses me when I realize how small my world has become out of a sense of responsibility and expectations. I admire and envy your journeys.
I love this post Courtney and can relate so very much. You are such an amazing and inspiring person.
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