Straight From the Purser

Vicky, my Panamanian friend who works as one of the assistant pursers, has been working on ships for over 10 years. She came to us from Carnival Cruise lines -- these are her top 10 questions from passengers.

1. Do those stairs go up or down?

2. Do you have elevators that move sideways?

3. When is the midnight buffet?

4. Do you guys live on the ship (or do you go home every night)?

5. Are we there yet?

6. Where do the stamps go(on an envelope/postcard)?

7. How do I use the phone (asking over the phone)?

8. I found a hair on my pillow and it's not mine.

9. What is the weather like? (They work at the desk, and unlike the passengers, are not allowed outside)

10. What is this queue for? (After having waited in it for 30 minutes).