Foggy Day Schedule

There is usually nothing better than a built-in excuse to miss a day of school. Depending on where you live, some kids might get snowed in, or have a tornado around the corner. In Fresno, where I grew up, the fog was a teenager's best friend. Situated in the California Central Valley at the base of the Sierra Nevadas, "the no" is notorious for zero-visibility fog, in addition to the highest teen pregnancy rate in the nation and a city hall shaped like Darth Vader's helmet. 

I remember what it was like to wake up to fog like it was yesterday. I'd turn over in my very uncomfortable, very brass day bed, turn on channel 18, and watch the stripe on the bottom of the screen. If it said "Clovis School District," I was golden. We would soon be eating at Bob's Big Boy, or stealing road signs to construct fake detours. In any case, Mr. Fog used to be my friend. However, when you're 31, sitting on a ship, and hoping to head into Shanghai, he's not quite the BFF he used to be. We were supposed to dock this morning, but we're now sitting 66 miles outside of China, completely fogged in. I've got a japan rail pass to buy and postcards to mail. Grr. Go away, Mr. Fog. Oh yeah, and I still don't like what you do to my hair.